Ours Were The Halcyon Days!

Padmaja Duvvuri writes about entertainment of the past Vs present and how kids in those days used to be more independent, happy and stress-free compared to the present times.  

I am nearly 56 years old and now firmly believe that ours were the halcyon days. The real fun times. I am also a big Netflix buff. I love many of the gadgets that technology has introduced into our lives barring the mobile phone- I have mixed feelings about this one.

Our childhood was simple – no TV. There used to be one radio controlled by our father. There was a turntable but we were allowed to use it only on ‘special occasions’. Summer and winter vacations were with aunts and cousins (uncles were busy working). My father was the eldest and had seven siblings and each had an average of six children – so you do the maths about the number of cousins. And there were extended family members who joined in and I think most often there were about 60 people who ate meals – lunch for sure, dinner maybe less.

It was a huge sprawling ‘haveli’ that we lived in. The front terrace on the first floor was where the ‘children’ (ranging from ages 2 to 18 years) slept and the ‘grown-ups’ were distributed across the rear terrace and multiple other rooms.

What did we do? Summers started with ‘cookouts’ at least once a week. My mother would set up huge utensils on wood fires in the backyard and teach us how to make sambar and rice. Truth be told, she did everything, she was kind enough to make us feel like we were actually cooking.

Once during the entire vacation would be the ‘entertainment’ night where we would all construct ‘sets’ using sarees and bedsheets, put up skits (in costume, no less), sing songs, mimic some of the oldies and everyone would laugh. There would be a special dinner and we would go to bed with a smile on our lips.

Highlight was eating mangoes – any number, on the verandah in our ‘petticoats’ and banians.

Winters were bonfires. Sleeping indoors. Eating a lot of sweets. And ghost stories – I remember getting totally spooked many times and running to my parents’ room and lying down next to my mother.

Rest of the time was playing ‘catch’, hop-scotch, climbing trees, chatting endlessly, arguing, fighting, making up, complaining about each other and so on.

Let me get to the point of this narrative now. It was all about being ‘social’. Maybe with extended family and a few years later, with friends too. But as time went by, it became more and more nuclear. More friends and acquaintances and less family, perhaps. But sociable, never-the-less.

But if we look at our lives over the last many years, and especially in the last 18 months, we are becoming less and less convivial. Children are really burdened with their school/college work. In urban cities, all the traffic snafus make people think twice about venturing out spontaneously. There is so much planning involved. Even if the family members or friends live close by there are so many factors to consider. Test schedules, work timings, competitive exam classes, I am sure you get the drift.

And I sincerely believe that we need to be especially empathetic with everyone who is below a certain age given what they have gone through over the last 18 months – the fact that the true social aspect has been completely missing. School is as much about meeting one’s classmates as it is about studying. College is also about all the chats, the crushes, the interactions, the bunking of classes, the movies, the cups of coffee, the much-coveted snack in the favourite ‘hangout’!

A couple of months ago, I asked a 7-year-old whether he was enjoying school. And he flatly said ‘NO’. And when I asked him why, he replied saying that sitting in front of the laptop and attending virtual classes was totally boring. And it was an epiphany moment for me. My children have grown up and I don’t have grandchildren yet. And honestly, I am really glad that I did not have to deal with children below a certain age during the pandemic.

I have already spoken about my childhood earlier on in this article. And what emerges is the ‘freedom’ we had. In terms of dressing up, going out, attending (or bunking) classes, eating out, birthday celebrations, festivals. Sure, there may have been restrictions about going out late in the evening. Or where we went and sometimes who we went with. But what has happened recently is that the ‘fundamental’ freedom has been taken away. It has been for all of us but I really feel for the ‘youngsters’. I genuinely feel that they are the ones who have it very tough.

I, as a parent, have really tried to give my children space. Allowed them their irritations, their bouts of temper. It has been tough and I have not always succeeded because my frustrations came to the fore too.

I don’t want to doomsay but I think the next couple of years are very crucial in how all of us as a collective and individually deal with the emotional and mental state-of-being for all of us and especially the youngsters. We all should explore and leverage therapy, both conventional and alternative.

But I want to end by saying that ours were the halcyon days. There might be a lot of things missing but at a certain level they were really carefree days and I am so happy to have been a part of the generation that I am.